You can't eat Google

I have been politely reminded by Goth Friend and Camera Crazy Friend that whilst I have brazenly stuck up the “vote for my blog, it’s fabulous” link, I haven’t in fact updated my blog.  Since July.  Gasp!

I will have you know that I haven’t done my man list either.  Or had a tequila. The former because quite frankly I think it is silly and clearly Brainy Friend was just intent on making me feel uncomfortable.  You meet someone, you decide you like them and if they like you back, cool.  Do loads of nice things together and have lots of sex.  Not necessarily in that order.  If they don’t, stalk them until they file a restraining order.  Then find someone else to play with.  Simple.

The latter is because my latest bottle is now being used as a candle holder and no-one has offered to buy me another.  Unlike Goth Friend who managed to get a bottle of whisky delivered to her door by simply putting up a “I have no whisky left, snivel” on her Facebook status.  Perhaps I should give it a go…  After all, if you don’t ask, you don’t get.  I shall test this theory on the weekend by standing in the middle of a bar shouting “I need a drink, can someone please buy me one”.

Talking of that, it’s almost free drinks time, but before I go and get my weekend started, here’s something sobering to think about.  Apparently South Africa is going to run out of food in 10 years time.  “Demand will outstrip supply”.  Yikes, that is in OUR lifetime – and half of you still insist on having children which is just downright inconsiderate.

The funny thing is that I have been bleating on about this for ages.  Everyone is technology-mad and we are so busy Facebooking, tweeting and texting (er, that would be me, ooops) that we are not paying attention to what is important.  We whine when the internet goes down or our email systems crash.  For crying out loud, food people, food.  You cannot eat Google.  Or iPhones and iPads. Or computers or mobile phones.  Even when they eventually churn them out with some sort of taste or smell.


As someone who loves food (clearly), the mere thought is putting me into a panic and I am currently investigating containerised vegetable gardening.  As well as planning a trip to the Karoo to find a piece of land where I can farm vegetables, milk cows and cultivate the tequila cactus.  Yup, tequila is on its way out too.  It’s all too much!  No food and no tequila = crisis.  Get off Facebook Farmville and start real farming. Now!


Have a rocking weekend – I will be stocking up my bunker with tins and beer (it comes in tins too) and getting my car ready for a Karoo roadtrip.  When I get that farm going you are going to need me.


Oh, I found the picture by searching Google for food.  Go figure … even Google knows there will soon be no food ... aaarrrghhhhh!!!!