Pimpin' yo ass...

It's raining in Cape Town.  And I have very little fuel in my car.  So let's hope it gets me home on fumes.  Which it will.  My car is good to me like that.  But that is not the subject of this blog ... but could be tomorrow if I run out of fuel.

So last night was supposed to be an early night. I slaved away over a voiceover script until about 9.30pm and was about to head home when I got a text from The Genie saying that a certain government tax organisation could go do bad things to itself (she was going to fill out the dreaded return) whilst she was almost through a bottle of wine and was about to open the tequila. The Genie is on the way home so I thought I would pop in for a Jose nightcap.  I had worked hard after all and had been good since Saturday.

When I got there I was greeted by a very merry Genie, a bowl of food, a glass of wine, two men and a shot of tequila. Good move! The next thing I knew were were heading out the door to look for mischief thanks to Pretoria Friend fancying a "quick one" at one of the locals.  Pretoria Friend bailed at the last minute, but it was too late for us.  There we were, all lined up at the bar at a local pool joint in Obs.  One that is notorious for causing bad hangovers.  Especially on week nights. Especially on student night (which it wasn't - that's a Tuesday night if you need to know).

It was here that I was introduced to a well-known concept that is a popular party theme and ghetto occupation.  Pimping.  

The Genie's brother thought it would be fun to set up his sister with some random dude across the bar. One that was highly unlikely to get laid that night.  The deal was done and he told me that even if she didn't get down and dirty with the man, he would pay her R1 000. 


Turns out The Genie didn't take said man home, even though when I left the pool joint at 1.30am she was happily sinking his balls on the pool table. But she should be a R1 000 richer. And I am wondering how I go about finding a pimp of my own.

Pimp (from Urban Dictionary)
A bad ass that makes a living selling his woman, for shit loads of cash. Usually too busy to remember names so the common pimp will call his bitches, "bitches". Can usually be spotted by their unique taste in "pimpin clothes", and by them driving an old school Cadillac. Indeed we all wish we could be pimps.