Diary of a Daisies virgin : Day three...

Sunday Bloody (hot) Sunday

06h50: There's a nasty little tune coming out of the Blackberry. The alarm. OMG, the alarm. Rugby on in 10 minutes. Feel like I only went to bed an hour ago.

07h15: Discover a spider bites on my hips. No sign of spider. Arrrgh, probably swallowed it.

07h25: With scratchy eyes, itching hips and stale tequila breath I head to main stage with Barmy Bernie. Madcap Menno is still passed out. Wish I was.

07h40: The main stage area is the fullest I have ever seen it for the entire festival. South Africans are clearly serious about rugby!

07h45: I need tea!

07h55: I am in heaven. Found Lady Bonin's Tea Caravan and tea. BB has found coffee and we are starting to cope.

08h20: R15 for a Castle Lager and a free lamb roll is the reason we got out of bed. Had nothing to do with rugby.

08h25: A nice young man lets me win a Springbok scarf.

08h30: Things are infinitely better, we have beer and lamb-full tummies. It's going to be a good day.

08h50: Things have taken a turn for the worse. We lose the rugby. The Boks are coming home and I fear it has something to do with me winning the scarf.

09h15: Back at camp after joining mass miserable exodus. Time to start packing up. It's already getting too hot for this.

09h45: First load to the car. It's as hot as hell in there and I am pleasantly suprised to see that the champagne hasn't exploded. Yet. Consider drinking it just in case. I hate waste.

10h45: Being single is not for sissies. This car trekking is killing me. Decide I seriously need a butler that I can bring to festivals as a porter.

11h30: At last! Car is all packed up. My arms are hurting, my feet and hips are itching and my shoulders have taken on an ominous red shade. I need to have a swim.

11h45: Pop into The Daisy Den and get given a free pair of polka dot flip flops with my Brutal Fruit. Whoot! Rewards for drinking twice already today.

11h55: Flop down onto a couch and scoff free Fizzers and lollipops whilst flipping idly through a Glamour magazine. Am starting to like this Daisy Den place.

12h30: Head to the dam for a last swim. Am eternally grateful that I found my Disney spritzer. If I didn't have it I would self-combust.

13h15: Legs turning pink, time to get out of the sun and see what's happening at the main stage.

13h30: Just Jinjer may have had their ups and downs and Art may be sporting a double chin instead of dreads, but they still rock it. Awesome memory lane stuff. Make a note to haul out their CD when I get home.
14h45: Time to head home. Enough is enough. Start praying that SupaFly makes it on the dirt road in the heat. I have seen many towtrucks in action.

16h05: Home! We made it! No towtruck vultures for us! Fall on my bed in a tattered, exhausted heap for a nap.

18h00: The bath water is so brown I wonder whether I have washed off my tan.

19h45: Vegetables! I love vegetables.

21h00: Sheets, I love sheets! The mattress has never felt so good.

21h10: Fall asleep with my dog in my arms and a smile on my face. What an awesome weekend. Viva the beginning of festival season!

Why Rocking the Daisies rocks

• It is probably the most organised festival I have ever been to. The bands even ran pretty much to schedule.
• You get your drinks fast at the bar. Seemingly the barmen are not only hired for their good looks.
• These guys are serious about recycling and not damaging the flora and fauna. In my books, that ranks them as one of the top festivals.
• Potato and coriander samoosa's people. At a festival. I love these guys!
• The Daisy Den is not for woosies. It's for women everywhere and I intend to live in there next year. I may even get my nails done.
• It's so much fun even the geese pitch up.

My only gripe would be that perhaps it is a little too big (I prefer smaller festivals) and they try cram too many acts in on too many stages. I missed out on some good bands and acts because I couldn't be in three places at once. It was also quite far to the main arena from the camping site and in the heat that is no joke. But that is just me being lazy. Am bringing my butler/porter next time.

Awesome job guys! You should be proud. See you next year!

A tranquil start to the day at 7am.

That's a lot of rugby fans early in the morning!

Lady Bonin - keeping tea-lovers happy.

Just Jinjer (like his guitar strap says).

Diary of a Daisies virgin : Day two...

Sweltering Saturday

07h30: Wake up in a tent sauna with the faint smell of whisky pervading my nostrils and the sound of a hose outside.
07h35: Realise that I am at Rocking the Daisies, Madcap Menno is having a pee outside my tent and I have two shot glasses around my neck.
07h45: Crawl out of my tent and survey the immediate surroundings. Seemingly everyone is up and about apart from MM who has now passed out between tents.
08h00: Breakfast is on the go and there's a lot of pig on that skottle. Sausage fest has a whole new meaning this morning!
08h15: Blow up balloons for Canadian Friend's birthday. Festival morning breath straight into 3 balloons. God help anyone nearby if they pop.
08h30: Hand over balloons and a parasol to the birthday girl, secretly wishing I had got one for myself - it's already getting hot.
08h45: Tea. I desperately need tea. Remember that I left Monster's nifty gas cooking thingy in the car. Damn, going to have to fetch it.
09h10: Get back to camp after trek to car. My shoulders are starting to burn. Apply sunblock in a hurry.
09h30: At last, water is on the boil for tea! Took forever to figure out gas cooking thingy. Without a hangover... if I had one of those I wouldn't have even got to the car.
09h45: Realise water has been almost at boiling point for 5 minutes. Gas must've run out. What??!
09h55: Thankfully breakfast has been cooked and I can put the water on the other gas thingy. I neeeeed tea!
10h00: Eat half a pig and wash it down with birthday champers (they were kind to the birthday girl) and of course, tea. Life is good!
10h30: After using the delightful portaloos (the warmth of the sun mixed with last night's bowel movements in a blue plastic box is not a pleasant affair) I walk past a queue of women waiting to use the showers.
10h32: Am most unpopular girl at festival for telling said women that no-one bothers showering at a festival. And only woosie's would use the Daisy Den. Heh heh...
10h40: Back in tent to get changed out of sleeping gear into the Retro White Trash outfit (a nasty little swimming ensemble hauled out for festivals).
10h45: I think I am going to die. The sweat is pouring off me and I feel like I am stuck in a humidifier.
10h50: Stumble out of tent gasping and dripping. Notice how white my legs are. Back into tent to find sarong, fast!
11h00: Find MM and BB making friends in the Bloggers Tent. Am so glad they are my friends too. Shade, beer, seat, ciggie. Am set!
12h00: Am having a blast and I haven't even been anywhere. It's far too hot to venture to the main arena and the dam. Bugger that. Time for a tequila and lemonade.
14h00: Still haven't been anywhere, but the baby bottle is almost empty.
15h00: Decide it is time to get to where the action is, perhaps it has cooled down by now.
15h30: Clamber up the side of the dam wall and almost pull a hamstring. I am too unfit for this. It's still hot and I need a drink.
15h40: Aaaah, bliss. I don't care what is in this dam, it is heaven.
15h55: In amongst all the floating dingies and skinny women in bikinis I spot a gaggle of geese! Before long I see one on the bar tent as well. Start questioning the Panado I took earlier.
16h30: Make my way back to the campsite. Pop into Daisy Den on the way. There are women blow drying their hair and doing their nails! What?!
17h00: Tea time! No matter what, there is always for tea. Some blow dry their hair, others make tea.
17h45: Change of clothing needed. There are spiders in my tent. Everywhere. One is even making a web! Start catching them in a plastic cup. I love camping.
18h00: After refreshing cuppa and a change of clothing, head for the main arena. All this walking is making me thirsty and hungry.
18h30: More Brutal Fruit and a chip roll. You gotta love festivals, you eat utter junk and the only fruit you get is disguised in your drink.
21h00: Tequila time! Been a rocking evening so far with aKing and Prime Circle. It's cooler and I have been drinking tequila since noon. Wahoo!
21h10: Tigger comes bouncing past. Decide I have perhaps had enough tequila.
21h30: Civil Twilight are putting on a brave show considering the sound keeps failing. The lead singer is attempting to keep the crowds amused with lame jokes. Oh dear. He needs a tequila.
22h15: Head across to check out Boom Pam (again at the insistence of BB and MM).
22h35: Just how much fun can you have with a broken daisy and gypsy beats? Plenty! BB and MM are running amok and the birthday girl has even joined us. Fun times!
23h50: Play a game of pool in the Man Zone after watching Band of Skulls. Great band, shocking pool game. I don't think I sunk a single ball. Blame it on the height of the pool table and bad lighting.
00h45: Lark are mesmerising. First time seeing them live and I am in awe. Especially of the background graphics involving creepy dolls and eyeballs.
01h00: Madcap Menno has gone awol. The last time we saw him he was heading to the bar.
01h10: Barmy Bernie and I start phoning MM. (The next day he had ten messages on his phone saying "Hey! Where are you? And where the #### are our drinks??!!!")
02h00: Am back in the New World Tent with BB. Have run out of money and the portaloos have run out of loo roll. Time to go back to Camp of Awesomeness.
02h10: Find MM lurching around with a pizza. Pinch a piece and take him to find BB in the New World tent. BB has gone missing. MM heads into crowd. Give up and head to bed.
02h30: Yay! Bed has never felt so good. Am exhausted. OMG, I think I have a spider crawling up my leg.

Overheard on Saturday:

• "I woke up in my tent with a whole lot of people I didn't know."
• "Shit, even the sunscreen is hot."
• "Sausage fest for breakfast! Wahooo!"
• "It's treacherous out there"
• "There's bitches in bikini's everywhere. It's epic!"
• "We went, we panicked and we came back for more booze."
• "I only buy crack for festivals."

Next up: Sunday Bloody (hot) Sunday

Geese! I kid you not...

The Daisy Den is the answer to any festival hair problems.

Boom Pam!

Band of Skulls

The Man Zone for free pool and lots of Black Label.

Rocking those daisies!

Diary of a Daisies virgin : Day one...

Flower Power Friday

09h00: Wake up with hangover. Buying extra jugs of margarita during happy hour always seems a good idea at the time.

10h00: Attempt to locate tent and other useful camping items.

12h00: Take fourth headache tablet.

12h30: Decant tequila into a baby bottle. It holds almost half a bottle of tequila. Babies drink a lot!

13h00: Go to shops for supplies. Get irritated with queues (does everyone leave work at 1pm on a Friday?)

14h30: Return home and try squash everything into one bag. Parking far from the campsite sucks. Really, it does.

15h00: Take sixth headache tablet. Migraine is threatening and messing with my packing abilities.

15h05: Give up and start packing car, with 3 bags, tent, sleeping gear and coolerbox.

15h30: Give pets a cuddle and promise to try be back by Sunday. Give them SPCA number in case.

15h45: Put in fuel. Only to have pump to run dry at R10.

16h00: Wedge a packet of ice into coolerbox after chucking half my camping kit on the ground at petrol station in an effort to locate coolerbox.

16h15: MP3 player plugged in and I am on my way!

17h30: Arrive in a cloud of dust and rattling doors at Cloof Wine Farm. There's a whole village of tents and cars in front of me. I feel like I am at Woodstock. Wahoo! Realise however that I have no weed.

18h00: Locate the Camp of Awesomeness and start the trek backwards and forwards to and from the car.

18h15: Where the hell are the porters with their trusty wheelbarrows? Have carried one load of bedding and I am exhausted.

18h20: Realise my feet are itching like mad. Daisies? What daisies? Nettles more like it. Arrrrrgh!!

18h45: Gasp! They discover my bottle of champers in my bag. They really do check thoroughly. Even dodgy knickers and holey socks don't put these guys off.

18h50: Give up trying to convince guy to let me in with champers for Canadian Friend's birthday. But it's not like I can decanter it or that champers comes in plastic bottles now is it?

18h55: Take bottle of champers back to car (thankfully they let you do that). Collect last of camping gear. Fourth trip...

19h05: Spot wheelbarrow porters..

19h30: Tent is up, have a beer to celebrate. Feet still itching...

20h00: Realise that I have missed The Arrows and Foto Na Dans. Damn!

20h15: Make my way to the main arena. Make that "start my trek to the main arena". Big festivals = long distance walks.

20h30: Head straight to the bar. No cider! What! Settle for Brutal Fruit instead. And a shot of tequila.

20h40: Join the masses at main stage for RTD All Stars. There's a man strutting around on stage sporting an afro and wearing a gold Elvis suit. Disco Dave is rocking it and I be loving it!

20h55: George van der Spuy falls over on stage for the second time. Am trying to figure out who the hot guitarist is. Must put media pass to good use and find out.

21h45: Gazelle's bass goes straight through your balls. Even if you don't have any. Discover they pretty flambouyant too, swanning around in afro-chic attire and prancing about with zebra cloaks. I like this band!

22h45: Get dragged off to Napalma by Barmy Bernie and Madcap Menno. Figure I should see something different and try not to kick and scream as I am hauled off to the Nu World Beat Ring.

22h55: The seal is broken. Dreaded portaloo time. Barmy Bernie and I join the boys queue and hoof them all out of the queue to pee around the back. Get to the loo in no time much to annoyance of girls in the other queue.

23h05: Stop at Red Stag tent and have shots of red whisky. Red sweet whisky. Uh oh, this could be the beginning of the end.

23h20: Feet aren't itching anymore. They dancing to the drumming beats of Napalma. This is not so bad actually. I feel like I am at Rio Carnival in Brazil. Start wondering if in fact I am.

23h45: Head back to main tent (stopping at Red Stag en-route for refills) to catch the end of Jack Bloody Parow. He's being quite respectable this time, no brandy and coke down his front. What??!

00h20: Hop between the Red Bull Studio, the Nu World Tent and the bar. Watch people punch each other in the boxing ring. Talk kak. Drink. Watch people fall over. Try not to fall over. As you do at a festival.

01h10: Discover potato and coriander samoosa's at the food court. OMG...

01h30: Go back for second samoosa. Am having a love affair with bits of potato and coriander wrapped in bubbly pastry.

01h45: Realise that I have in fact had enough of electro music and nu world beats and head back to camp leaving BB amd MM living it large at the Red Bull Studio.

02h00: Locate tent (wahoooo!)

02h10: Hmmm, the ground is hard. And I found my tent. Gasp, I realise I am relatively sober... I blame it on the electro beats. They beat all the alcohol outta me. No wonder people take drugs...

Next up: Sweltering Saturday

Overheard on Friday:

• "The best way to get people to move out your way is to bite them."
• "I totally saw Jeremy de Tolly tune George van der Spuy at the bar."
• Dude one: "I really need a blowjob right now." Dude two: "I really need E right now."

Festival facts

• A rocking 12 000 people stomped their way through the flowers, nettles and bars at Rocking the Daisies this year. I wonder how many Black Labels were consumed? Must find out...
• 100 of those people actually WALKED 60km to get there. I salute you. Don't expect me to do that next year. Or ever. Walking from my car to the camping area with bedding almost broke me.

Disco Dave rocking the Elvis suit

The flambouyant Gazelle - best band find of the weekend.

Ivo Maia of Napalma will have your hips swinging to Brazilian beats.

Jack Parow - pin-up boy for girls all over Belville.