Tequila tart: Diary of a Daisies virgin : Day two...

Sweltering Saturday

07h30: Wake up in a tent sauna with the faint smell of whisky pervading my nostrils and the sound of a hose outside.
07h35: Realise that I am at Rocking the Daisies, Madcap Menno is having a pee outside my tent and I have two shot glasses around my neck.
07h45: Crawl out of my tent and survey the immediate surroundings. Seemingly everyone is up and about apart from MM who has now passed out between tents.
08h00: Breakfast is on the go and there's a lot of pig on that skottle. Sausage fest has a whole new meaning this morning!
08h15: Blow up balloons for Canadian Friend's birthday. Festival morning breath straight into 3 balloons. God help anyone nearby if they pop.
08h30: Hand over balloons and a parasol to the birthday girl, secretly wishing I had got one for myself - it's already getting hot.
08h45: Tea. I desperately need tea. Remember that I left Monster's nifty gas cooking thingy in the car. Damn, going to have to fetch it.
09h10: Get back to camp after trek to car. My shoulders are starting to burn. Apply sunblock in a hurry.
09h30: At last, water is on the boil for tea! Took forever to figure out gas cooking thingy. Without a hangover... if I had one of those I wouldn't have even got to the car.
09h45: Realise water has been almost at boiling point for 5 minutes. Gas must've run out. What??!
09h55: Thankfully breakfast has been cooked and I can put the water on the other gas thingy. I neeeeed tea!
10h00: Eat half a pig and wash it down with birthday champers (they were kind to the birthday girl) and of course, tea. Life is good!
10h30: After using the delightful portaloos (the warmth of the sun mixed with last night's bowel movements in a blue plastic box is not a pleasant affair) I walk past a queue of women waiting to use the showers.
10h32: Am most unpopular girl at festival for telling said women that no-one bothers showering at a festival. And only woosie's would use the Daisy Den. Heh heh...
10h40: Back in tent to get changed out of sleeping gear into the Retro White Trash outfit (a nasty little swimming ensemble hauled out for festivals).
10h45: I think I am going to die. The sweat is pouring off me and I feel like I am stuck in a humidifier.
10h50: Stumble out of tent gasping and dripping. Notice how white my legs are. Back into tent to find sarong, fast!
11h00: Find MM and BB making friends in the Bloggers Tent. Am so glad they are my friends too. Shade, beer, seat, ciggie. Am set!
12h00: Am having a blast and I haven't even been anywhere. It's far too hot to venture to the main arena and the dam. Bugger that. Time for a tequila and lemonade.
14h00: Still haven't been anywhere, but the baby bottle is almost empty.
15h00: Decide it is time to get to where the action is, perhaps it has cooled down by now.
15h30: Clamber up the side of the dam wall and almost pull a hamstring. I am too unfit for this. It's still hot and I need a drink.
15h40: Aaaah, bliss. I don't care what is in this dam, it is heaven.
15h55: In amongst all the floating dingies and skinny women in bikinis I spot a gaggle of geese! Before long I see one on the bar tent as well. Start questioning the Panado I took earlier.
16h30: Make my way back to the campsite. Pop into Daisy Den on the way. There are women blow drying their hair and doing their nails! What?!
17h00: Tea time! No matter what, there is always for tea. Some blow dry their hair, others make tea.
17h45: Change of clothing needed. There are spiders in my tent. Everywhere. One is even making a web! Start catching them in a plastic cup. I love camping.
18h00: After refreshing cuppa and a change of clothing, head for the main arena. All this walking is making me thirsty and hungry.
18h30: More Brutal Fruit and a chip roll. You gotta love festivals, you eat utter junk and the only fruit you get is disguised in your drink.
21h00: Tequila time! Been a rocking evening so far with aKing and Prime Circle. It's cooler and I have been drinking tequila since noon. Wahoo!
21h10: Tigger comes bouncing past. Decide I have perhaps had enough tequila.
21h30: Civil Twilight are putting on a brave show considering the sound keeps failing. The lead singer is attempting to keep the crowds amused with lame jokes. Oh dear. He needs a tequila.
22h15: Head across to check out Boom Pam (again at the insistence of BB and MM).
22h35: Just how much fun can you have with a broken daisy and gypsy beats? Plenty! BB and MM are running amok and the birthday girl has even joined us. Fun times!
23h50: Play a game of pool in the Man Zone after watching Band of Skulls. Great band, shocking pool game. I don't think I sunk a single ball. Blame it on the height of the pool table and bad lighting.
00h45: Lark are mesmerising. First time seeing them live and I am in awe. Especially of the background graphics involving creepy dolls and eyeballs.
01h00: Madcap Menno has gone awol. The last time we saw him he was heading to the bar.
01h10: Barmy Bernie and I start phoning MM. (The next day he had ten messages on his phone saying "Hey! Where are you? And where the #### are our drinks??!!!")
02h00: Am back in the New World Tent with BB. Have run out of money and the portaloos have run out of loo roll. Time to go back to Camp of Awesomeness.
02h10: Find MM lurching around with a pizza. Pinch a piece and take him to find BB in the New World tent. BB has gone missing. MM heads into crowd. Give up and head to bed.
02h30: Yay! Bed has never felt so good. Am exhausted. OMG, I think I have a spider crawling up my leg.

Overheard on Saturday: