Beers, burgers and queers

I have to thank the wonderful Revolting Cocks for that little gem of a heading. I just said head(ing) and cocks in the same sentence. Ooops! Well that should get this blog read by a few more people if they do appropriate searches on Google. Will be checking the stats …

Anyway, now that you are shocked into a stunned silence (much like some of my male friends this weekend when I mentioned that Vuvuzela and I were going to watch some porn in our room) I shall regale you with tales of our adventures in the Gay Quarter this weekend…

I was actually there in the name of “work” so you can all read the “nice” and detailed version there. But suffice to say we had a ridiculously awesome time as girls tend to do in the company of men who actually prefer the company of men. We also ate a lot of burgers.

The highlights were these…

• Being complete girls and relishing in beautiful things we cannot afford in equally beautiful shops. If I had a Rand for every time we said “When I have money I am coming back here”, I would probably have enough money to afford the stuff I am going back for.
• Finding a waterfall at the back of a boutique. Only in the Cape Quarter and only in shop with wallpaper that made you feel like you were in the Amazon.
• Delighting in being doted upon by the owners of La Petite Tarte who lavished us with attention, delicious food and wine.
• The Lindt Chocolate Studio. Really. Can there be any place more heavenly. Especially when they are having a sale and you get three slabs of chocolate for R10 each. And a free ice-cream tasting and a chocolate ball to shove in your pocket on the way out.
• The wonder that is The Spar. The Spar in the Cape Quarter is no ordinary shop in a chain of grocery stores. There’s a deli, a bakery, sushi bar, a chemist and a food bar where you can design your own sandwiches. There’s also crocodile and wildebeest pâté . Have you ever? In a Spar?!
• Spotting a pair of hot red heels as we entered our purpe guesthouse. Belonging to one of the owners who is a drag artist. He has since appeared on Top Billing wearing them.
• Giggling like naughty schoolgirls upon discovering an interesting dvd collection on the bookshelf in our room. Interspersed with mainstream dvds. It pays to look closer at what people keep on their bookshelves.
• Enjoying a glass of wine thanks to our gracious hosts, whilst overlooking the city from their rooftop garden at dusk. We truly live in a beautiful place.
• The barmen at Beefcakes. This could be a whole blog in itself (well it will be when I write about Beefcakes) but let’s just say that they are as yummy as the burgers that are served.
• Realising that all the gay people in our party where sitting on one side of the table whilst the straight ones were sitting on the other. Perhaps because the straight ones (being all girls) wanted to ogle at the waiters in the mirror without making it obvious. Even though the whole point is to ogle at the meat serving your meat.
• The look on Gorgeous Gay Friend’s face when he asked if I would like salt with my tequila and my immediate response was “Only if I can lick it off the left nipple of the barman.” Gay men get shocked when you talk about other men like that. Like the thought had never crossed their minds.
• Grabbing the ample pectoral muscle of said barman on the way out and telling him how hot he was. He smiled and told me to come back anytime. Sigh, bet he says that to all the girls. And boys.
• Going into a darkly lit bar on the way home that clearly used to be a garage and speaking to the barman who was in a speedo. I managed to maintain eye contact (but only just).
• Watching said barman running down the street a few minutes later, still clad only in his speedo.
• Enjoying a nightcap at Madame’s. With its ornate balustrade you feel like you are in New Orleans.
• Indulging in fluffy white robes and divine bath stuffs at the guesthouse. It’s those little touches. Vuvuzela will agree that the chez lounge was a nice touch too.
• Watching one of the said dvds and witnessing a man trying to give himself a blowjob. The lengths he went to was quite impressive. And he swallowed. You're gagging now aren’t you…. Sorry, wrong word to use… You're puking now aren't you…
• Waking up to the sound of oranges in the juicer and the smell of croissants. Raspberries in the yoghurt were a real treat too.
• Having a gander around the Village Market with its many interesting stalls. More food! From Istanbul to Cyprus, sausages that have been cured for 3 months to award winning marmalade, from samoosas to seafood. There was other stuff too, but the food definitely held our attention the most. Even after breakfast.
• Watching Vuvuzela get tipsy after one Long Island Iced Tea at Café Manhattan. She’d never had one before so I recommended she try one. Not my fault she’s such a lightweight.
• Going back to Café Manhattan for Vuvuzela’s rings that she had left in the bathroom. Luckily they were still there. Why people take off their rings to wash their hands beats me. Especially when they are half trashed after one iced tea.

Who would’ve thought work could be so much fun. On a weekend too! Next one is District Six …. Who’s game to join me?

But first, another long weekend. I could get used to these short weeks. In fact last week I felt positively cheated when it was a five-day week. How dare they!

Enjoy it folks. Go to Beefcakes for some meat and a tequila. Remember to pack your speedo and your heels. Just don’t take your rings off in the bathroom after a Long Island Iced Tea.