You win when you eat da chicken

So last night I joined Mom Friend for the evening as her hubby is away and she needed help with fetching her car from the mechanic while she fetched her child from school. She could’ve done it all on her own, being the capable woman that she is, but this would’ve meant that her daughter would’ve been the last one at the school and as we all know that is just horrible (and spooky). It all involved a lot of strategic planning – goodness knows how single parents do this stuff – and was made more difficult by the fact that I can’t phone or sms or anything because I need to pay for my phone. Which I haven’t this month. Yet. Note: Donations to the phone fund most welcome, I promise to sms you to say thanks.

Anyhoo, I got rewarded for my efforts with a box of ciggies, “Because if you can’t pay your phone bill, you probably can’t buy fags either.” Bless! Love it when my friends look after my best interests and my habits. They are the expensive Malborough ones too. Long time since I had those! But that’s not all, I got treated to Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner. I cannot remember the last time I had KFC as I tend to avoid places where they are known to make burgers out of pink chicken-gut gloop. But not one to look a gift horse (gift chicken?) in the mouth, I gladly went along with the plan. Wow! What a place! No wonder it’s so damn popular. First off it’s chicken (but is it really?) and you always win when you eat da chickeeen. Secondly, it’s so cheap! Sorry, cheeeeeep! Ok, that’s enough.

Where else can you buy two burgers for R18?? TWO. Bloody hell. The next time I am out partying with a pal and we decide we need sustenance to get us through from 3am (bedtime) to 11am (waking up time), I am going straight to KFC. For R9 each we can get a burger with mayo and lettuce, which is more than enough to see us through the midnight munchies. And the roll is good for soaking up alcohol. And R9 is pretty much all you have left after a night out anyway. If you are lucky.

Then there’s all sorts of other stuff they have on the menu, including a new addition in the form of a bun-less burger called the “double down”. I kid you not – two chicken “fillets” with lettuce and mayo sandwiched between them. Not a sniff of bread in sight. Fascinating. They still have their mash potato and gravy (I used to love that) and now there’s “pap and gravy” too! There’s three different types of burgers, a zinger, a colonel and the original. Goodness knows what the difference is between them – a different flavoured mayo? A different breed of chicken? Then there’s wraps, nuggets, wings, legs and breasts. You can buy a bucket of chicken or a streetwise feast. It’s mad! And then there’s the kiddy meals that come in a little box festooned with cute little chickens on it. It’s so damn adorable all the adults want one too. Not to mention the toy…

Needless to say it took me ages to decide what to have, but in the end I got a wrap with chips and a Fanta. Mom Friend had the same (probably because she was also too overwhelmed with choice to make a decision) and kiddy got the cute chicken-covered box with nuggets in it. She struggled with the choice of toy – never give a 3 year old a choice between three things. And off we went, back home to enjoy our night of takeaways in front of the telly. I felt like I was in true family suburbia. So this is how the other half live! Chicken nuggets and dsTV. It’s not bad. Much better than sitting in front of a laptop until 10pm and then scoffing two slices of toast before bedtime.

Tonight I go a slightly different route. The Taste of Cape Town route. I won tickets so feel the need to go. I have bugger all money (again, donations gladly accepted, along with credit cards) so Slappy and I are going to see how much free food we can get and how many "crowns" we can pickpocket. At least if we fail we can go to KFC and buy two burgers for R18. Viva le chicken!

ps. Last night I dreamt of beakless chickens with four legs chasing me down the road with laser guns. I am not sure if was the KFC or the James Bond re-runs I was watching on dsTV.