So we are six days into the new year and apparently our last year on earth as we know it. How exciting! What's even more exciting is that I have some simple resolutions (which I seldom keep) and one of them is to blog at least once a week. Nowhere near as dedicated as Monster, but a damn-side better than blogging four times a year... so watch this space. Through this I may even manage to wangle some sponsorship of some kind. A year long supply of tequila would be a good start ... after the end of last year I need it!
Moving it and shaking it
I moved house in December. The planets clearly moved alignment at the same time as everything that could go wrong did. My car broke down on the day of the move, I chipped off my front tooth, my cat turned into something out of Pet Cemetary and my previous landlady turned into a bitch and stole all my deposit. It wasn't fun and I had a mini nervous breakdown. But I now live in a fantastic little cottage with a blue door and blue window frames. It's so cute dammit! Everyone has a good snigger when they hear it is in Gay Street. But back when the street was named, "gay" orignally meant "gleeful, jovial, glad, joyous, happy, cheerful, light-hearted, vivacious, frolicsome". So there. Just like my personality (most of the time). Besides, everyone who lives there is "straight".... life is ironic like that.
What I learnt:
Don't move house at all costs - squat if you have to. If you do decide to move house, start packing the day you get or give notice to move out. Don't make friends with your landlord/lady - they are not your friend, you are merely a source of income. Deposits are good for funding renovations. Don't mix pets and carpets - it's a recipe for disaster. Ask for help if you need it. Help often comes from those you least expect.
Breakdowns and meltdowns
Most people know me as the happy-go-lucky gal without a care in the world. Turns out my Happiness Fairy decided to go on holiday in December (probably to the North Pole to seek a job as the Christmas Fairy) and the Ogre of Misery moved in instead. The last few weeks of 2011 were one disaster after the next and I think friends started dreading asking how things were going. On the day of the move the moving crew arrived almost 2 hours early, resulting in my menagerie being chucked into the bathroom (as opposed to being whisked off to the safety and calm of the parlour), my fridge being moved with the food in it and I was still chucking clothes into black bags at 1am in the morning. My car started giving trouble on the day of the move, resulting in a tearful visit to the mechanic which resulted in all attention being paid immediately to my car. My beloved Tino almost got ran over 2 days after the move, resulting in me chasing a terrified dog down the road and chipping my front tooth. No pain, but not so pretty. I will never make jokes about white trash again. Then, on very same day, my computer at work crashed. All my precious photos and memories were about to go down the hard drive drain. This was the final straw and I fell apart, much to the concern of fellow workmates. Dosed up on Rescue Remedy I was sent home and stayed there for 2 days. In my bed...
What I learnt
It does eventually get better. I am stronger than I thought. Breakdowns happen to happy people too. Crying and shaking uncontrollably is your body's way of saying "enough". You cannot overdose on Rescue Remedy. Pets can have Rescue Remedy too. It's OK to cry. Backup your work. Don't store everything on your desktop. Teeth can be fixed, at a price. One should start saving from childhood for dental work (if you don't use it, you can retire on it).
All I want for Christmas ....
... is a new car. Having been assured that my car was fine and good to go (which I guess it was at the time) I decided to drive it to Hermanus to spend Christmas with my pals there. Not only was I going to catch up with old friends who had been somewhat neglected over the year, I was looking forward to having a break and enjoying delightful Christmas fare. Half way there the oil buzzer came on. Rush into a garage to find that there was indeed oil in my car. Thinking that the oil buzzer was simply playing up again I pushed on with a screaming oil buzzer making me feel like I was stuck in a bell tower. I made it to my friends' house, but only just. I was half demented and my engine sounded even more so. Determined to have a good time in spite of this, I pushed the car out of my mind as much as possible and got immersed in the festivities. I ate enough to keep me going for months. The seafood extravaganza on Christmas Day was fit for kings (there were mountains of prawns and calamari, a freshly caught cob and we had an entire crayfish to ourselves!) It was all quite fabulous and the weather played along too. But by Boxing Day I decided it was time to sort out the car. Luckily for me The Machine knew a mechanic in town and the man was kind enough to come check out the car. Verdict: bearing knock in the engine caused by collapsed oil pump. Estimated cost: Anything between R3 000 to R8 000 depending on damage. So the car wasn's shreiking at me for nothing. The oil was there, but not going through to where it should. If only we had've changed the oil pump... R300 is a lot less than what I am about to fork out. Sigh ...
But that aside a far bigger problem was looming. My pets were at home with no-one to feed them as I had the only key. Using social networking I tried to find a lift and people tried to help. Word went out, phone calls were made, some offered to jump the walls to get to my critters and The Genie even offered to come from Cape Town to get me. Thankfully my new landlady was able to go in and halt starvation and some good friends came from Betty's Bay to save me. I got home two days later than anticipated to some very happy animals who don't care if I have a car or not, they just want to be fed and to see me. And being car-less for a while, that they definitely will.
What I learnt
If your car is shouting at you, listen. Make sure someone has spare keys to your house. Disaster can happen at any given moment. Afrikaans people definitely know about food. Seafood on Christmas Day under an African sun is the best way to spend the day. Getting the meat out of a crayfish leg takes skill. True friends will be with you during the bad as well as the good and those are the friends to nurture and keep. Cars have a sell-by date. So do some friends.
And so there you have it. Thank goodness that year is over. It's a new year and I shall press on with renewed faith and optimism. As we tend to do. I have to say it started pretty well... I woke up in the posh suburb of Constantia on New Year's Day with a mild hangover thanks to a fun rum-filled evening with The Machine and Slappy (good name there Monster) and have been getting lifts to work in the finest vehicles known to man. The latest Audi A1 ranks as my favourite so far (the new Mini is ugly with retro overkill as far as I am concerned). I have a new office and a new job. I have a new home.
Now all I need is a new tooth, a new car, a new figure, a new boyfriend and a new attitude. Will let you know how that goes...
Here's to 2012 ... may it be our finest yet!
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